I am a 56 year old woman, married to a firefighter. I always knew that when my sons were older, I would go back to school to fulfill my dreams of a career doing something that I love! Age should NEVER limit you. In my book, Fire Wife, I wrote [...]
Whenever you are committing to making changes I want you to remember, 5 things: You are Worthy: You deserve to feel happy most of the time and knowing that you deserve happiness is from knowing that you are worth the effort. When you heal, you heal everyone around you. When [...]
Good morning gorgeous! We are for the most part a one man band so to speak. When I say that what I mean is that, we are responsible for how we live and how we show up in this big beautiful world of ours. We have both free will and [...]
Fortunately I am married to a firefighter who also owns an award shop! Lol, but if you don't have a trophy store at your finger tips, just know that you are very influential to the health of the fire department. You are the one on the other front lines. You [...]
The truth is, there is a solution for every problem and in everything, and in every aspect of our lives, we can choose to focus on the problem or focus on the solution. You are human, you might get wrapped up in the issue, but don't stay there. I talked [...]
While this may not affect every fire family it will affect some, as it did for me when I put my dreams on hold for a while so I could raise my sons while hubby was busy being a firefighter. I wrote in my book that at the time I [...]
OK my darling, we've all been there...we worry incessantly about something and we just can't stop thinking about it. Maybe you are worried about those night shifts when you are on your own - in fact in talking to a few fire wives, this certainly has been a concern sometimes [...]
Alright my darling, I will go more into this tomorrow, but for now let me tell you that everything you feel and whatever you are going through is normal. However, when we feel any of these emotions, it's best not to stay there and to solve it with some practical [...]
"First of all, have you stopped to think about how remarkable you are? You play an irreplaceable role to many people in your life and an invaluable role to the fire department. However, as the partner to a firefighter, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, out of the loop, or that [...]
September has always been for me kind of like the New Year so it's when I also like to set some new goals. This year however, I am wanting to set goals where I can see both achievement and accomplishment over the next 4 weeks. What do you say? What [...]
Let's get Fire Wife month started off with something delicious to eat! You will love this. First of all, it's super healthy, but secondly not only is ratatouille seriously versatile, it is unbelievably delicious and easy to make. It will also make great use of the rest of your summer [...]
My beautiful first born, Brayden. My beautiful second born, Liam. Those first 5-7 years for children are absolutely imperative and pivital to their foundation of joy. I believe that if a child is raised with wonder, imagination, fun and optimism, they will have had their joy reinforced and it will [...]
First of all, why do children need boundaries (everyone, not just children but we will start with the early years). Because if you do not act as your child's first teacher about what is acceptable and not acceptable, they will get out there in the big world and become [...]
I love quotes, poems and words. I find whatever mood I am in, I can read a quote and instantly be reminded of my life purpose, what I love, where I am going and how to stay the coarse whatever the weather. When I wrote my book Fire Wife, it [...]
Once upon a time when my boys were little, we decided to stop off at a 7-Eleven to get some summer slurpies. Out front of the 7-Eeven were a whole bunch of teenagers we had to wade through to get to the door. One very well-mannered teenage boy opened the [...]
It's been said that you need to put your figuratively speaking oxygen mask on first before you can be of any inspiration, help or service to others. Like clock work I get up every morning to write. But before I check emails, social media or do any business - I [...]
Why Take Your Children Grocery Shopping with You? Because it Teaches Team Work and Models for Your Children What it Looks Like and Feels Like to Build a Warm Home. Children are also by nature helpers. Additionally, if you have picky eaters, making them part of the shopping experience will [...]
Today and everyday, give yourself a round of applause for all that you do, what you get done and how you do it. Life is busy which is why it's good to stop (not drop and roll) and give yourself a pat on the back, a hug, or as Mel [...]
Whether you are a fire family, a single parent, or a family with four kids, this program applies to everyone. Let's talk about the power of words. You can build a person up or tear them down in one fell swoop. Our kids are basically blank canvases that we write [...]
There is a lot of talk in the media these days about childhood trauma. Sometimes raising kids can feel overwhelming, particularly when you are in a fire family (schedules, shiftwork) and when there are just so many "parenting" theories and you wonder, how can I do this? How shall I [...]
I could watch Mell Robbins all day she is so down to earth, wise and swears by manifesting! Yes it is true and it will happen for you. She gives practical advice and offers step by step actions to take, beginning with your mindset. Here is just one of many [...]
To conclude R-Therapy, after some good retreating, resting, and restoring your soul with the sustenance of good books, good hikes, a massage, pedicure, positive thoughts and new intentions, what my dear have you been toying with? I mean, what has slipped into the forefront of your mind a few times [...]
The Law of Divine Compensation “...there are four rules for miraculous work creation: Be positive. Send love. Have fun. Kick ass." - Marianne Williamson “The whole of what we know is a system of compensations. Every defect in one manner is made up in another. Every suffering is rewarded; every [...]
"Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette Virginia Clinton Kelly was a colorful personality, a very positive woman and to her daughter-in-law one of the most beautiful and strongest women she ever knew. While Virginia [...]
"And one day, as she was buried deep in her thoughts, she heard a still small voice ask her "If you could go back in life, what would you have done differently?" And without missing a beat she answered, "I would have chosen me" And finally, she made the choice..” [...]
"When You Change Your Thoughts You Change Your World" - Norman Vincent Peale I have to tell you a couple of my huge pet peeves: negative people and ya-but people. I grew up with one of the most negative school-mates imaginable. She attached herself to me (negative-positive) and everyday she [...]
"Our real personality is all light, all love, always shining." - Upanishads Happiness is truly an inside job. And though there is plenty outside of ourselves that can make us happy, anything external that we reach for is only a temporary fix. The best thing however is that we all [...]
Ok my dear, what is your BIGGEST NEED? This picture I took when I was in Hawaii at Mama's Fish House, 2019. I NEED HAWAII! Or maybe for the time being, I just need more of what Hawaii represents to me....keep reading. What You Suppress, Your Kids and Others [...]
Oh, how I just love this word so....rest. Like the sound of a sail boat, rhythmically stretching over glistening waves, quietly, tranquilly, hypnotically - to a destination evoked by nothing pressing, only presence. REST. Oh how I just love this word so! OK, there was my minute [...]
Retreating, and taking a whole month to do so, can really freak North Americans out. However, with all the stress, the anxiety, & mental health issues overtaking, possibly more than ever - retreating looks like a really great viable option! Lol. So think about what you may like [...]
Have you noticed the word, TREAT in RETREAT? Well, I certainly did. That is what this month of January is for me a real treat. Yesterday I spent my free time reading inspirational books, watched a inspirational show, went for a beautiful fresh air walk and infused my body with [...]
I love my R-Therapy and though it is not a unique concept, playing with the letter R to point us into the direction of ie, reflection, rest, relax and rejuvenation or in my case the all essential RETREAT first to REST, so that I can RESTORE my energy after a [...]
We've been Priming the Pump for Our New Vision For the last couple of weeks we've been priming the pump for creating a vision for our lives. We've got our vision book/vision journal/focus wheel happening! We're collecting magazines for visuals and pictures that we feel drawn to. We are also [...]
“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” William Morris "Please Take Responsibility for the Energy You Bring into This Space" Dr. Jill Bolte There is nothing like having your family come for Christmas dinner to get your butt [...]
The greatest thing happened to me the other day and I couldn't stop laughing. I was home baking and cooking for my son and his girlfriend who were coming over for dinner, but I also had to leave to go get my hair colored and cut with my hairdresser [...]
You are not a stereotype Fire Wife. In fact Fire Wives come in all shapes and sizes! What truly makes you beautiful is your Armour Propre which in French means self-respect and self-worth. Living one layer deep is a very lonely feeling. When you feel good about yourself you inspire [...]
Christmastime in a Fire Family can look really different. Sometimes your firefighter is home on those special occasions, but more often they are not. Be it birthdays, Easter or Christmas, the chances that your firefighter will be working say when it is your Aunt Tracey's Christmas Lunch, or your friends [...]
LIFE FORCE the force or influence that gives something its vitality or strength. "the passionate life force of the symphony" - the spirit or energy that animates living creatures, the soul. Fire Life Needs Grounding Energy If you are not used to giving yourself a big pat on the back or speaking [...]
Why have a vision? Well for one thing, it is in your DNA as a human being to have something to look forward - but more importantly to have purpose and to be creative and to grow. Here's the thing though, your dreams and what is inside you to give [...]
No this picture is not of Dr. Phil, it is however a look into how our thinking creates the vibes we put out into the world. Like attracts like. Fresh Starts and New Beginnings! Oh my goodness, I am so excited you've decided to join me on this new [...]
I discovered the secret of manifestation when I was a young girl and it was all completely unbeknownst to me. I'd found an old blue unused photo album in my mother's closet, took some of her old magazines and began cutting pictures out of romantic couples, places I wanted to [...]
I had some major technical difficulties 5 minutes before our interview so had to revert to my old laptop to interview this incredible couple. I highly recommend their book - I absolutely love couple collaborations! Sorry about the video quality and the uber close-up! The content of what these two [...]
Part of creating a new vision for your life and in putting those new ideas in motion, is to first, prime the pump of your life and prune stuff from your life - to get into preparation for purpose and for living a life that you love. To prep and [...]
Hello my darlings! Let's talk estrogen! The succulent female hormone that gives you that womanly glow, your curves, your toned female organs, and regulates your menstrual cycle, your fertility and brings you to menopause. Believe it or not, men also have some estrogen and if their testosterone begins to wane, [...]
The Law of Attraction. If you've ever watched The Secret documentary you will remember seeing that many well-known people throughout history used The Law of Attraction to create a life that they loved, achieving all of their dreams and then some. Well, creating and using vision boards, scrapbooks and journals [...]
I know this sounds heady, but using the life laws to your advantage works better than not. Life Laws are the unchangeable laws of the universe, such as the Law of Attraction, that just are and always will be regardless of how hard you try and change them, twist them [...]
Fire Wife Notes On Hormone Health I want to pass on a little information about hormone health from my experience so that you don't have to go through what I've gone through. To be perfectly honest with you, it wasn't until I got into my 50s that I started to [...]
In self-reflection and in dreaming about the good life, it is always a smart thing to go through your life, decade by decade to see when you were happiest and why. Who was in your life? What was going on in your life? It's also imperative to go [...]
Do you over commit to things in the moment but then when the time comes you wake up dreading the day? As human beings, as mothers, fathers, friends, daughters, sons, and spouses, we have commitments to our relationships and to getting certain things in our lives done. We also need [...]
Whether you are in perfect peace today or having a crappy day, beauty will bring you back. Additionally when we focus on what we find beautiful and that includes how we spend our time, what our hobbies are, the character traits we love in others, nature, a cup of tea [...]
There is a difference between having great talks with your partner and communicating to your partner. Most of us can have a laugh and good chats with our firefighter. But when there is something more serious to convey or your needs aren't getting met, or his aren't, that's when [...]
Do you know my husband and I went to a marriage counsellor and our marriage counsellor never once told us that all marriages go through very Predicable Phases and that you are completely normal when you do? So you need not feel bad if it's not wine and roses all [...]
Connecting and Communicating With Your Firefighter What Works and What Doesn't "The Quality of Your Communication is the Quality of Your Life: - Anthony Robbins I've started a new thing called, Fire Wife Notes here on my website, of all the wisdom and advice I wish I'd [...]
I made this Sunday night for dessert! I am on a diet, so come Sunday I wanted a sugar-free cheesecake and man oh man did I find the very best from The Diet Chef, online. Let me get right to the point: Preheat oven to 350 and grease up a [...]
It was the funniest thing! I was home alone when our local paper called me to get a picture for the paper with my book. So, while my arms are short as all damn hell, I managed to hold the phone in front of me with one hand, then hold [...]
Though COVID has slowed down the plans we've all had, I'm excited that I've been invited to couple of events and I'm looking forward to them! First I've been invited to participate in The Port Moody Author Gala May 11th, via Zoom and on June 16th, 2021 an interview also [...]
Put out the invitation! Pick a time to meet, where and for how long. Will one person host the book club, or will everyone take turns? Do you want to meet in a neutral place or do you want the comfort of someone’s home? Do you want to meet once [...]
Krissy is a front-line worker who works both as an ultra-sound technician and with patients who suffer liver failure from alcohol abuse. Her husband is a career firefighter and together they have a 7-year old little boy. Recently I’ve been wondering how the heck couples who are both front-line workers [...]
"It’s not the failure, it’s what you do with the failure, that’s what defines you.” – Ross Penhall Not only is Ross Penhall, a retired West Vancouver Fire Captain, having served 29 years in his city, he is also an internationally renowned landscape artist who has sold one of his [...]
There is a lot to be concerned about right now - from world economics to more locally small businesses that are suffering as well as human beings, particularly women and children in domestic abuse situations and families who are not getting enough to eat. Yes, there is a lot to [...]
The other day I talked about some resentment was bubbling up for me with respect to a person who I love very much (I don't think I mentioned love last time!) but who was affecting me greatly during this time of sequester - not my husband and not my children. [...]
Well life as we know it at this moment in history has certainly changed. We can either look at it as cozy and contented at home or confinement at home! If you are anything like me, possibly without all of the distractions of say shopping, lunch out with the girls, [...]
The trajectory of my life changed drastically when my husband wanted to become a firefighter. I had been going to college to get my media degree when he made this announcement. To say I was unhappy about his choice was an understatement. Since then however, I managed to turn what [...]
Good morning! It's a beautiful day here already on the West Coast! I went to my doctor the other day to get more blood tests to see WHY I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT! My doctor wrote out a requisition for blood tests and then handed me a prescription for diet pills. [...]
As I put the finishing touches on my Fire Wife book, I am recounting two interviews I did with my friends who are also fire wives. Both of them have said that because a fire marriage is not an easy one, you have to really make yourself a priority. My [...]
It might be January 3rd, but the truth is, I'm still playing Christmas music, I've still got my tree up (until this weekend) and I am still taking it easy. Though the menu plan has improved and I'm going to boot camp tonight, this week is very special to me. [...]
Fire Wives at one time or another will experience PTS (post traumatic stress) just because she is married to a firefighter. While what he sees each and everyday would destroy me, the type of PTS I'm speaking of is of an interpersonal level. Whatever he experiences or whatever he puts [...]
I have a pack of virtues cards and love to sit by myself in the morning to choose two to see what character traits to practice and every time I pick a card it is never surprising but always incredible that I pick the ones I truly need. In this [...]
If you could rank your husband's bad moods on a scale from 1-10 where would they land? Recently my husband landed in hospital again. This is the third time with a low white blood cell count. He was the most insufferable person leading up to this hospitalization and I can [...]
While having my book for Firefighter Wives edited the other day my editor said, "Wow, a firefighter's life takes precedence over his wife's." It's true. From their schedule, to filling in for an extra shift, trading holidays, volunteering, sleeping and sometimes working another job - not only is it true, [...]
So Mrs. Firefighter wife, do you like those two nights on your own and how do you spend it? Do you let the house go? Do you hit the hay early with movies and popcorn in bed? Having a couple of nights a week to myself is really perfect [...]
Well, that went fast! And don't we say that every year. It would appear that I didn't even blog during the Christmas season. I love fresh starts and that is exactly what 2018 is to me, a fresh start. My old trainer, who'd just started up her company again, messaged [...]
When I was in Paris, I knew one phrase, "Je ne parle pas francais' (I don't speak French). I practiced this phrase for about 2 hours over and over again while in Paris before I could say it confidently! I felt terrible not knowing any French while in Paris, because [...]
Imagine how many relationships would stay together if the Golden Rule was practiced consistently? Do unto others as you would have done to you. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I know a lot of spouses would say, "ya but" he needs to be nice to me [...]
My firefighter texted me last night to say "sorry for what he said...I didn't mean it". The sorry was amazing because my firefighter's family M.O. was about deflecting and blaming. We've come a long way my hubby and I. Though connected by passion, charisma and shared values, when it came [...]
There are times we find those guys we are married too beyond frustrating. They seem to put more effort into their brothers at the hall than they do with their own families. Just this past week my husband worked on the boat he we share with another firefighter family, worked [...]
Well, I handed off one chapter of my book to my husband last night to take to the fire hall. The chapter I sent is called, Understanding Your Husband's Profession. So far the reviews have been great though it still needs some editing. I want to dispel any rumors out [...]
As we all know having a firefighter marriage, it can be difficult to navigate if we don't understand our husband's profession, what they deal with everyday and the results of those difficult days. It's also essentially important to check in with yourself. How are you feeling today? Is there anything [...]
I was at a retirement and new recruit dinner last night. We all sat at tables that were already designated which was a first but I love meeting new people and met some really great ones last night. I got weepy when the pageantry began as men marched into the [...]
There is a very large divorce rate amongst firefighter marriages. Divorce amongst firefighters and their wives is even higher than the national average. Why? Because it's really hard being married to a firefighter! I began writing my book several years ago because there wasn't a whole lot on the book [...]
Fortunately, not anymore, but for many years prior, and before I had THERAPY, my stomach would be in absolute knots when my firefighter was on his way home after two night shifts. Being a firefighter wife, you know what your man will be like when he gets home. I guess [...]
I have a question for you? Have you stopped to give yourself a big fat pat on the back today? I'm serious. Do you even know who you are? Today as you go about your day, your routine and your to-do-list, I want you to take a few minutes to [...]
Hi there! I am so happy to finally get my blog started before publishing my book, How to Stay Happily Married to a Firefighter. My book is how to stay happily married, because for me, this was not always the case. Once upon a time I was a very reluctant [...]
Tara McIntosh has written her first book, Fire Wife, Standing Strong in Your Relationship, Your Life and Your Dreams.
Email: info@firewifewise.com
