Ok my dear, what is your BIGGEST NEED? This picture I took when I was in Hawaii at Mama’s Fish House, 2019. I NEED HAWAII! Or maybe for the time being, I just need more of what Hawaii represents to me….keep reading.
What You Suppress, Your Kids and Others will Express
When my boys were little I always knew that if dinner was not on the table at 5 pm – on the nose – the witching hour would begin. Everything in the house got louder, more annoying, irritating and exhausting.
The interesting thing about that first life lesson for me when it came to energy is that my spongy little boys were just reflecting back to me the energy of annoyance I was creating in the kitchen. You get what you give.
But let’s take this energy reflection a little further and reverse it a bit. I always remember Dr. Phil saying, “there’s just something about that person I don’t like about me.” I never understood this and it perplexed me. I couldn’t compute this.
Now that you’ve had time coming off a busy Christmas having maybe had energy overload, your tolerance is low. When your tolerance is low , you may be thinking about a couple of people at work for instance that annoy you, anger you or feel hateful toward. Don’t get scared thinking these things, because that person actually has a very important growth opportunity for you.
I want you to think about a couple of things here. This annoying, irritating person bothers you for one of two reasons:
Either they are reflecting back to you something you wish you had or could do – or….
There is a quality within you that needs some serious honing.
Additionally you need to figure out why you are reacting to this person so strongly.
Here’s the First Thing I Want You to Do
To understand why said person bothers you, you are going to need a pad of paper a pen and absolutely NO FILTER. I call it the 3-page rampage. Set the clock if you like for 15 minutes and go for it. No need to be polite or use Queen’s speech for this one, you need to let it rip. After writing three full pages, I bet you will find many clues and more than likely answers to your feelings about this person…but more so about you. Stay with me.
You are thinking, like we all have, well, how the heck can this annoying person have anything to do with me?
Two Sides of The Coin
I want you to imagine a coin. On one side of the coin is your irritation of this person. On the other side of the coin is the reason why you are irritated by this person. Perhaps this person that annoys you is doing something in life or living in a way that you want more of. For instance, when you overloaded and overwhelmed from saying yes to something that you wish you’d said no to, but didn’t – seeing a person relaxing with a glass of wine, watching Emily in Paris with nothing else to do but read a book and slip into a candle lit bath might really piss you off!
The other side of the coin of irritation might also be that you need to hone a quality or qualities within you and that annoying person is representative of that. Think about it. What is this person reminding you that you need to hone? Do you need to hone assertiveness, acceptance, less control, or the need to say NO?
Maybe other feelings that come up for you is that of disrespect or being taken advantage of, especially if you feel obligated to say yes to things because other people are not stepping up.
Don’t Get Furious, Get Curious About Your Feelings!
When you pay attention to the strong negative feelings you have about people, don’t get furious, get curious!
When you do the work and identify what you are needing and feeling eventually some people will no longer annoy you. The truth is, some people are just mirrors to our soul of what we would actually like to be doing, or a quality within that we need to grow in. Maybe that includes no to volunteering so you can stay home with a glass of wine in your pajamas with Emily in Paris on the tube! XOXO