While having my book for Firefighter Wives edited the other day my editor said, “Wow, a firefighter’s life takes precedence over his wife’s.” It’s true. From their schedule, to filling in for an extra shift, trading holidays, volunteering, sleeping and sometimes working another job – not only is it true, but it is obvious to those who observe our marriage.
I think that the most important thing to remember is that as a fire wife, self-care and recognizing and realizing how important we are to our husband’s career, but most importantly to our own life and dreams is crucial. It’s easy to get swept up in the craziness of it all it, but by being conscious of your individual needs, your husband’s individual needs and collectively your marriage’s needs, you’ll find the craziness eventually transforms into a really good rhythm. So let’s talk about you. How are you feeling about life and your marriage today? How are you feeling about yourself? Are you fulfilled? Are you overwhelmed? Is there something you are longing to try and do? Is your marriage going through a rough patch and you are worried? Here is what I want you to do. I want you to keep a journal. Even if you are not a writer, I’ve always believed that writing and reflecting are very therapeutic. I remember reading that from the heart and soul to the pen to the paper. There is something about actually writing that allows for your true and genuine thoughts to pour out. However, if you write long enough, the answers will come to. So today, when you have a moment, I want you to sit down with a cup of tea or a cup of coffee and I want you to reflect on where you are at, your level of happiness and then any issues you’d like to solve. We get so busy in our lives that your heart and soul can get ignored and then sadness or depression will set in. I remember hearing that anger is depression inside out. If you are disconnected and feeling discontent, I want you to be honest and spell it out in your journal. Write as if know one is looking! I don’t want you to stay in disconnectedness and discontent however. I believe that we must always go into a pressing problem or issue in our life fully intent on a solution. Do not camp out in negativity or resentment. Remember, no one else can fulfill our lives only we can. Write out your dreams and then determine when you’d like to get started on things. Also if there is something blocking you from your blossom – your authentic self, your self-confidence and feelings of self-worth then it’s time to perhaps seek out a life-coach or therapist. You are worth it and I want you to realize just how special you are and just how important your role in this great big life is.